I’m tired of autism…

I’m tired of autism. I’m downright exhausted.

I’m tired of people telling me how far my son will go simply because they see his ability to absorb a thousand impressive facts even if he struggles to find productive ways to use them–which is what would make him successful.

I’m tired of people telling me that “If I would just…”, then my son would be “normal” as if he has a behavior problem rather than a neurological problem. All the worse when it comes from another spectrum parent that has a kid with a different flavor of autism than mine and thinks that’s the result of their efforts rather than their luck. Or relatives that see my son once in a blue moon.

I’m sick of people telling me that my parenting is the reason for my son’s behavior and go on to suggest things we have ALREADY TRIED AD NAUSEUM because they REFUSE to believe that we parent this way as a RESULT, not as a preference or an option.

I’m worn out of having parents tell me “But my kid does that, too–it’s normal” as if I have a neurotypical kid and am making him out to be impaired when he’s not.

I’m enraged every time I hear “but look how far he’s already come–he’ll be fine” when the person has zero concept of what life was like during the time of optimal brain development that got him to where he is now, and their complete ignorance at the reality that NONE of those advantages or resources exist for him for the next 4 years before he is legally an adult.

I’m exhausted from nights without sleep wondering if my son will actually be able to overcome any of these things or if he is going to remain impaired and potentially not be able to live independently.

I’m frazzled trying to figure out how to provide for his long-term care if he can’t because we have a hard enough time trying to provide current-day care for him and think about our own future.

I’m frustrated with the lack of resources for kids like my son who are not severely impaired; and the viciousness with wihich parents of more severely impaired look at me for trying to help my son because they “would give anything for their kid to be where mine is” as if I’m an ingrate and my son undeserving of help because he’s not “impaired enough” even though his daily living and long-term independence is impacted.

And I am overwhelmed with anguish when these fears and frustrations come out in ways that make my amazing son feel less than the miracle that he is; and the toll that it takes on his sense of self when he can’t do things that other kids are capable of and we are unable to find things to help him move more freely through the world.

I’m tired of autism. I’m downright exhausted.

#FUA
#beawareofTHIS

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I’m every woman… and we are all tired right now

Last night, I was up until 4:15am and then slept until 8:30am.  Because I’m an idiot.  Because I didn’t bit off MORE than I can chew (I did finally grow out of that) but I have bitten off ALL that I can chew.

At the moment… I have no idea how I’m going to make it to Sunday…

Continue reading I’m every woman… and we are all tired right now

“You are the reason I no longer teach”

In looking through my blog post drafts, I found one that I missed.  In November of 2014, a woman told me “You are the reason I no longer teach.”  Do you know why?

Because my kid has food intolerances (that affect his behavior within minutes) and very severe blood dysregulation.  Which she believed was absolute nonsense.  Let me tell you what else I heard from her…

Continue reading “You are the reason I no longer teach”

When it’s not what you thought it was

So, Girly decided FIRMLY that she wanted to learn violin this year.  I’ve seen her do this before:  when she was 4 years old she decided FIRMLY that she wanted to learn piano and learned the letters A-G so that she could do so (although she insisted “that’s letters, not piano!”)

So… the violin… which is not even close to what she thought it would be.  And it’s definitely highlighting a lot of challenges we have not seen before…

Continue reading When it’s not what you thought it was

Do you know what is ACTUALLY required to graduate high school?

I’m not exactly sure what happened.  Maybe Thanksgiving.  I know that every year for the last decade, I have had an influx of new clients at this time of year and I usually attribute it to a combination of “so this is no longer a matter of adjusting to the classroom” and talking about their plight with lots of people they see over the holidays.

And the concerns are often the same, but generally unfounded when you find out what is legally required to graduate high school.  Guess what?  It’s SO. MUCH. LESS. than you think.

Continue reading Do you know what is ACTUALLY required to graduate high school?

Simple tips to keep you really focused this year

Since executive function is the major goal for my students this year, it seems only right that I practice what I’m preaching.  I’m usually pretty good but I found a new tool to incorporate into MY year to help make it even better and be sure I don’t let something major fall off my radar…

Continue reading Simple tips to keep you really focused this year

It’s here! It’s here! The new school year!

You all realize that this is a JOURNEY, right?  None of us has it all figured out.  I’m on year 10 of homeschooling and so help me–every year is a learning experience for ME.  Every year since I’ve started this blog, you will see a list of “resources” that went largely unused.  The best laid plans, right?  So how am I tackling this year?  Here ya go…

Continue reading It’s here! It’s here! The new school year!