Tag Archives: background

Tolerance

This sounds like such a good word.  A magnanimous word.  A word people strive for.

It’s a word people feel you should be happy to achieve.

But it hurts. Continue reading Tolerance

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What happens when parenting perspective is not a gift

Recently I was involved in a friend’s Facebook post asking who your MOMMY Inspiration is.  It was an interesting question, probably inspired by Mother’s Day coming up.  I’m actually really proud of my parenting given that I grew up in a home I should have been removed from (my state subsequently underwent federal overhaul of their child protective services division) and another I actually WAS finally removed from (although I was 18 and 2 weeks from graduating when they finally got to it).

What happens when you have kids of your own, start to really understand parenting more, and it DOESN’T give you a greater appreciation for your parents? Continue reading What happens when parenting perspective is not a gift

Day 9: Honor our heritage

We are a MIXED bag at my house.  Husbeau is 100% Italian.  I am 1/4 Welsh, 1/4 Italian and the other half is a mix of Scottish, Irish, Alsatian (I’m gonna call “German” on that one based on the food, words and preferences of my grandmother) and “unknown” because my great-grandmother was a foundling.  So BigGuy is 5/8 Italian and then a bunch of “other European” and Girly is half Guatemalan and half completely unknown.  Her history is very much like my great-grandmother’s except they no longer call those children “foundlings” and they generally don’t grow up in a hospital setting like my great-grandmother did.

So what do we honor today…?  Continue reading Day 9: Honor our heritage

It’s weird to have a neurotypical (NT) kid sometimes

Girly is neurotypical.  In the world of special needs, this is abbreviated as “NT”.  It means that there has been no significant concern or disruption in her development.  That is not BigGuy’s history.  As a result, we are often pretty taken with some of the things that “just happen” with Girly because it wasn’t our experience with BigGuy.

Continue reading It’s weird to have a neurotypical (NT) kid sometimes

It’s not attention deficit, it’s impulse control

Back in the spring, after years of dietary interventions and ruling out other things that can look like ADD/ADHD and lots of struggling with what looked like a VERY bright but unmotivated kid, BigGuy had a huge battery of psychological testing done so we had a better clue of what he was capable of.  These included the Connor’s Test–which is supposed to be an objective way to determine whether a child has Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD)/Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD).  BigGuy’s results weren’t even borderline–he clearly did NOT have an attention disorder.

The psychologist that did all the testing was as surprised as we were given what he observed during the testing.  None the less, BigGuy was clearly able to focus when he needed to.  The psychologist said that BigGuy’s problem was actually impulse control.  All I could think of was “Isn’t it an attention problem if you can’t control your impulses?!?!?”

Continue reading It’s not attention deficit, it’s impulse control

At the intersection of “privilege” and “minority”

This is really not articulating the full breadth of my feelings on this issue.  Not even close.  And probably not as well-connected or easy to follow as I wish.  I’m just going to put it out there and hope someone gives me the benefit of the doubt that my intentions are good and my fear and hurt about this are real and that I am trying to do something good with it all.

Background:  I am white.  I spent several years of my childhood being the only white kid in my neighborhood.  In Kindergarten, I was walked to the school door by the crossing guard because otherwise the black kids chased me and pulled my hair and hit me because I “didn’t belong there”.  We moved, and although the demographics of my school changed, the makeup of my little area of town was still predominantly black.  I was thankfully accepted there and I know this is largely the result of quickly making friends with the tallest (and wisest) black girl there… by way of having the same bicycle and her thinking I stole it.  Thankfully, her bicycle was quickly within view and the crisis averted.  She sheltered me from a lot of nastiness.  Having come from experiencing that nastiness first-hand, I remain grateful 35 years later for her ushering me into being accepted in that community. Continue reading At the intersection of “privilege” and “minority”

Applying neurotypical logic to kids in the spectrum

So, I get this a lot.  Especially since I run in unschooling circles (and please keep in mind that “unschooling” is, at it’s heart, about following the child).   Just to be sure we’re all on the same page here: “Neurotypical” refers to a child who develops in a way that is free of disabilities of any kind.

That is not my BigGuy. Continue reading Applying neurotypical logic to kids in the spectrum

Things my kids hate

I should preface this by saying that sometimes, I write about my kids in my little homeschooling blog here and people assume that I’m pointing out the differences between homeschooled kids and schooled kids (public or private).

PSA: Unless I specifically state that I am comparing the differences between homeschooled kids and schooled kids, please assume I am just sharing about my kids.  For no other reason than to share about my kids. Continue reading Things my kids hate