“I still love you”

Today was a Thursday.  Every Thursday, we have a babysitter from 1-5pm.  He’s a big, goofy 30yo man from Spain and our time with him is temporary as he is due to leave the country soon.  My kids love him.  We will call him Nando.

We were supposed to go to some homeschool event this morning, but Mama got up at 4:30am with horrible anxiety and had to take some medicine that I wasn’t sure was safe to drive with.  So I canceled that.

Instead, BigGuy got through his Biology lecture.  He then managed to get his bathroom chores done.  Oh–I didn’t tell you that he actually did his bathroom chores yesterday, too.  He often gets motivated by the potential for earning his screen time back.  Pfffft…

We did our helpfulness story this morning.  Yay!

I hadn’t organized any learning for him today because I thought we’d be out all morning and he’d be with Nando all afternoon.  He finished any unfinished work from earlier this week–except the stuff he needed me to be involved with (he asked, I just wasn’t prepared).  The deal is: he can only do the electronic-based schoolwork when the rest of it is done.  Only because the screens really screw with his head.

Girly and I sat down to read and it became clear that she needed some instruction on vowel blends.  So I let her watch “LeapFrog: Code Word Caper“.  But then I realized that she doesn’t really know her vowels COLD, so tomorrow she will be watching “LeapFrog: Talking Words Factory“.

I’m not really sure what the kids did all afternoon with Nando.  I went to therapy and ran errands and came home in time for Husbeau to go to a group where he could hang with other energy workers (he does reiki… I don’t fully understand it all, but he can pretty much put me to sleep on nights my anxiety is in overdrive).  I took the kids to get ice cream because I was just not having a great day and ice cream fixes everything.  When we got home, I tried to respond to an e-mail, but Girly wanted. to go. to bed.  And she was NOT happy that I was allowing an e-mail to keep me from putting her down.  And I was pretty grumpy about her not letting me finish the e-mail.

Shame on me. (I mean that seriously–not sarcastically).

She was so whiny and upset.   When I finally got upstairs and snuggled her (about the time Papa got home) I apologized to her.

“I’m so sorry I was finishing my e-mail instead of coming to put you to bed.”
“It’s okay–just don’t do it again.”
“I’ll try not to.  I’m sorry I was grumpy about it because I love you and I wasn’t acting like I love you.  I’m so thankful that you are our girl.  You’re so helpful all the time and I wasn’t being kind or helpful to you; and I’m really sorry about it.”
“I still love you.”

Ugh… tears.  I seriously don’t deserve these kids sometimes.


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