Things I did well this week:

• Planning an appropriate amount of work
• Planning work that BigGuy found interesting and engaging
• Planning around events we scheduled
• Reading our character building book
• Working (unexpectedly) a consignment sale fundraiser (for a friend whose kids were sick) and although EX. HAUST. ED.  I really handled all my responsibilities well!  WOOT!
• And on that note, bought some good shirts for BigGuy at above-referenced sale.
• Nearly kept up on our new (or rather, return-to-former) laundry routine where nobody has hampers–all laundry is collected every morning and a load is done every day.  BAM!
• Not losing my sh!t on anyone.  This is actually an accomplishment because my PTSD therapy in the last week was rough.

Things I did not do well this week:

• Having backup plans when primary plans fell through–which left us kind of in a not-great situation sometimes.
• Finding engaging things to do with Girly because truly, I didn’t realize how this whole new “wake up and work with Papa” thing would pan out
• Reading to either of my kids
• Doing the socratic discussions with BigGuy.  To be fair, this was partly my not wanting Friday to be C O N S T A N T discussion/analysis and partly because we had an emergency plan-change for Saturday that left me missing Girly’s soccer game (and a night out for someone’s 40th birthday that I was really looking forward to) and canceling attendance at a kids birthday party.
• Apparently I may not have enforced the deodorant rules well enough to BigGuy because his Friday discussion group leader sent out an e-mail to all of us parents requesting some body odor enforcement.  I’m not sure if it was BigGuy (since I didn’t notice offensive odor… this week) or someone else.  But note to self: bear down on this one.
• Definitely did not enforce the bathroom chore routine well enough with BigGuy.  But also didn’t enforce any chore routines with Girly, either.
• Keeping my grumpy on the down-low at times.  Like when there was a detour for a field trip and I had zero contact numbers to find out where to go.  I’d been told “the big main entrance–parking lot is right there, you can’t miss it” only to find out 1) there were no less than 6 parking lots; and 2) we weren’t going to the big, main entrance.  And my car was out of gas.  In an area I didn’t know well.  And I was really, really grumpy about it to other people including adults.

Other things that happened this week:

• Girly has become a brick wall goalie.  I seriously cannot even…
• BigGuy decided that he would start going to bed without a parent laying down with him “so that he could start doing sleepovers”.  This is simultaneously an awesome day and the worst day of my life.  I knew it was coming just like when you KNOW someone is going to die of a terminal illness and yet, it blindsides you anyway.  So far, we have discovered that we need a “goodnight” routine as I wound up without a kiss goodnight.   
• Girly decided to start doing HER OWN hair.  Have you seen this kid’s hair, folks?  This is a picture of what it looks like for her to “do her own hair”.  She pretty much flattens the top with water and I’m not really sure what hair “utensil”.  She does it often and is VERY proud of herself… so I compliment her every time and remind myself that we will absolutely HAVE to REALLY do her hair the next morning rather than slack.
• We went on a crazy awesome field trip to a municipal airport and aviation school that included the control tower.
• We wound up with 4 shares of Community-Sponsored Agriculture (CSA) farm shares to manage.  Two that we normally get from our farm plus two more that people did not pick up from our house (which serves as a host site for a local CSA farm).  This would normally be an awesome thing.
• BigGuy and Girly are clearly fighting off illness.  Between Illinois being one of the 6 states with confirmed cases of Enterovirus and close friends kids coming down with Coxsackie… I’m concerned.  Last night, BigGuy let out a few coughs in the middle of the night (for more on why this is a big deal, see BigGuy’s background)

Overall, I think it was a decent week.  I would love to be downtown drinking with a bunch of happy women celebrating a 40th birthday right now, but I will take a hot bath and soft bed after this day of being on my feet ALL. DAY. and up since early (for a work-related meeting before covering at the sale).

Upshot is that BigGuy is happier and feels like the dynamics of the household have changed for the better with this recent change in who is getting up when and doing what.

I can’t lie that there is a very, very tiny part of me that is sad that Papa gets to connect with the boy instead of me.  I mean, I know he loves me and all.  I just wish I had the resources right now to connect with him more meaningfully.  Or that I was at least gaining something else in the absence of that connection.  Like maybe connecting with Girly.  They grow up so fast.  I just need to focus on the gratitude for having a husband that gives them that rather than my kids lacking it completely.