Mama is planning an escape…

I have now lived in Illinois for 6 years.  In all of that time, I think the closest I have come to the ocean has been the breath of salt air during a ferry ride between Jersey City and Manhattan during one of my early trips back east.

And I think the lack of salt air is really a problem for me.

I have never felt quite right living in the Midwest.  I blamed it on a lot of things… leaving the only place I’d ever lived… leaving behind everyone we knew and starting over… trying to adapt to a culture I STILL don’t truly understand… not being settled in a home…

I had a lot of reasons to feel out of sorts.  LOTS of them.  And they all made perfect sense.  But now I’m starting to really feel it deep in my heart–this ache for the ocean.  I’ve ignored it for a long time.  I’ve never actually enjoyed swimming in the ocean all that much.  I don’t love laying on a hot beach.  But I have always loved the beach and often I would be there in the evening when it was cooler.  Walking in the sand and in the water.  Listening to the waves.  Smelling the salt air.  Feeling the spray.  I didn’t “live” at the beach like some do, but I was there often enough to replenish whatever void is left by it’s absence.

I tried the salt cave and while it was relaxing, it didn’t restore me.

That void has grown and it feels like it’s going to swallow me up now.  I feel silly to think that a trip to the ocean could make this feeling go away.  I turned to a fellow coast native who said “No–you’re right.  Go.”  I spoke to another friend with PTSD that said “There’s no question that the ocean has a therapeutic effect” for them.  So I put out the word and found three people who offered to let me crash if I made a quick run to NJ for a few days.  I don’t know if the weather will cooperate for the days I have available; and I don’t know if Husbeau can watch the kids (we will see what his work situation is like for that week).

But I’m plotting a mama escape for some Sea Vitamins and salt therapy.  See that picture?  That is an actual New Jersey beach photo taken by my friend (and artist) Mariya Kovalyov.  And something is deeply sad inside of me when I see my friends back East gathering there every Wednesday evening.

Mamas need to tend to themselves.  Mamas need to be happy and release the unrest in their soul lest they unleash it on their loved ones.  Mamas need to practice radical acts of self-care.

What do you do to restore your soul?

Mama signature orange JPG


3 thoughts on “Mama is planning an escape…

  1. You’re singing my song! I love the ocean too, and was lucky enough to make a living working on it for 14 years (hence my mariner2 mother name: I really was a merchant mariner who is now full time mom). Something about the salt water, rocks, and sand does it for me as well. An easy escape for me these days is behind the lens of a camera. I get lost there and all my worries fade away. Have a fantastic escape!


    1. Oh I wish I found some other escape. My husband and I agreed that I would go even if it were predicted to rain while I was there. I just need to see it and smell it and hear it. I hope it’s going to be as restorative as I imagine.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. I’m so glad you are doing this! I haven’t been to the ocean since I was a kid and I miss it. Although, as long as I can get around a lake or river or any body of water I can recharge a bit


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