Girly is neurotypical. In the world of special needs, this is abbreviated as “NT”. It means that there has been no significant concern or disruption in her development. That is not BigGuy’s history. As a result, we are often pretty taken with some of the things that “just happen” with Girly because it wasn’t our experience with BigGuy.
Continue reading It’s weird to have a neurotypical (NT) kid sometimes
It’s been a less productive time lately. I have a very hard time with the shortening of the days. No amount of vitamin D or special lighting has ever provoked a response in my body. Even magnesium supplements have not helped (there is a contingent that yells loudly about the need for magnesium to help with vitamin D absorption). So things have gotten slow… and moved to the big bed.
It’s been quite a week. Mama is starting to get her footing and get back to engaging better with the small people. Engagement. That’s what I’m going for here. It’s hard. I have horrible Seasonal Affect Disorder and am truly thankful that we spent our emergency funds on a skylight in the master bedroom. So the last few weeks have been very sluggish and mama hasn’t been very engaged. I think I didn’t really realize what was happening, either. My semester in review post made me think about it. Continue reading Real understanding
This is really not articulating the full breadth of my feelings on this issue. Not even close. And probably not as well-connected or easy to follow as I wish. I’m just going to put it out there and hope someone gives me the benefit of the doubt that my intentions are good and my fear and hurt about this are real and that I am trying to do something good with it all.
Background: I am white. I spent several years of my childhood being the only white kid in my neighborhood. In Kindergarten, I was walked to the school door by the crossing guard because otherwise the black kids chased me and pulled my hair and hit me because I “didn’t belong there”. We moved, and although the demographics of my school changed, the makeup of my little area of town was still predominantly black. I was thankfully accepted there and I know this is largely the result of quickly making friends with the tallest (and wisest) black girl there… by way of having the same bicycle and her thinking I stole it. Thankfully, her bicycle was quickly within view and the crisis averted. She sheltered me from a lot of nastiness. Having come from experiencing that nastiness first-hand, I remain grateful 35 years later for her ushering me into being accepted in that community. Continue reading At the intersection of “privilege” and “minority”
When you’re a new parent, rarely do you give a great deal of thought to things like Santa, the Easter Bunny or Elf on the Shelf and how those illusions will be shattered. I mean, I guess if “finding out” was traumatic for you, that might cause you to think carefully about this. I honestly don’t remember what shattered these illusions for me so I didn’t really think much about it.
Until I woke up one day and it REALLY bothered me that I was lying to my kids. I’m not sure why this bothered me. Everyone I knew did it. Safety in numbers, right? Because if we go down, we all go down together… I think parents live life by that mindset on a LOT of topics. Like “How wrong could this be if everyone’s doing it?” and “Well, at least if this is wrong, there are SO many people doing it that I won’t be alone.” But it did bother me. I didn’t care how many other people were doing it. Unfortunately, this thought came after my children were well indoctrinated in the fictitious… Continue reading Transitioning from fiction to reality
I love homeschooling
No rush to wake up early
Just snuggles in bed
We have just had a full week of the BigGuy uninspired to do anything academic. It didn’t bother me, but the change certainly threw me off. He had been so inspired for a while there.
And then I realized why… and I realized that the problem is truly me. Ugh… Continue reading I realize that *I* am the problem
I should preface this by saying that sometimes, I write about my kids in my little homeschooling blog here and people assume that I’m pointing out the differences between homeschooled kids and schooled kids (public or private).
PSA: Unless I specifically state that I am comparing the differences between homeschooled kids and schooled kids, please assume I am just sharing about my kids. For no other reason than to share about my kids. Continue reading Things my kids hate
Things I did well this week:
Things I did not do well this week:
Other things that happened this week:
Overall, I think it was a decent week. I would love to be downtown drinking with a bunch of happy women celebrating a 40th birthday right now, but I will take a hot bath and soft bed after this day of being on my feet ALL. DAY. and up since early (for a work-related meeting before covering at the sale).
Upshot is that BigGuy is happier and feels like the dynamics of the household have changed for the better with this recent change in who is getting up when and doing what.
I can’t lie that there is a very, very tiny part of me that is sad that Papa gets to connect with the boy instead of me. I mean, I know he loves me and all. I just wish I had the resources right now to connect with him more meaningfully. Or that I was at least gaining something else in the absence of that connection. Like maybe connecting with Girly. They grow up so fast. I just need to focus on the gratitude for having a husband that gives them that rather than my kids lacking it completely.
It usually falls on the mom’s shoulders to homeschool. But around here, Papa has been taking a hand in the homeschooling. As I type this, he’s reading instructions for writing assignments from Tapestry of Grace (Year 1, week 2, level 5 if you’re following)
“This week, organize your thoughts for pre-writing two specific writing genres by completing two graphic organizers. What does that MEAN? I mean, I know what all of the words in the sentence mean on their own; but when they put them together in this order, it doesn’t make sense to me.” He then bangs his first two fingers on each hand together and says “hashtag homeschooldad”
Truly, even in my house–the edumacating has always been Mama’s responsibility. At some point I told Husbeau that he needed to step up and start doing bedtime stories (and that I could tell him which ones he should use to coincide with stuff we were learning or things I wanted the kids to experience) but that totally never happened.
Homeschool moms face a lot of the same situations and emotions as stay-at-home-moms (SAHMs) of all kinds. Dad is off all day working (sometimes at a job he doesn’t love, and in a subset of those cases–with resentment for the mama that’s staying home and not having to deal with it). Culturally, we have undervalued parenting as “work”–so SAHMs are loathe to load any MORE work onto the husband. In the case of homeschool moms that are doing any level of prescribed academics, we at least feel like we’re doing WORK; but some of those moms are dealing with husbands who are barely supporting the decision to homeschool. So those moms dare not say “I worked all day, too!” lest their husband reply with “Well then put them in school and go do a job that brings in money!”.
None of this is my situation. However, I see it often enough. Not even just with homeschooling, but with all kinds of life and parenting choices where a husband and wife aren’t on the same page. It’s hard.
But I digress… (because “me”)
Papa is still on this tangent of getting up early with BigGuy and we’re just hitting a point where BigGuy has actual work to do that Papa needs to be engaged in. It’s getting interesting, folks. BigGuy has started really looking forward to their time together in the mornings, too. That’s no small feat since this morning it was FUH-REE-ZING and the day before it was raining. And today, Mama mistakenly told BigGuy he could have his electronics and Papa nailed him on not doing graphic organizers… and then they sat together and worked through it. Wow… my husband seriously rocks.
For the rest of you, here are some things you can potentially offload to Papa:
Or really, just have your kids help dad with whatever and have dad make it a learning experience for them.
Yes, yes… everyone needs a break and a rest. But guess what? We’re a family. Doing stuff together counts.
Educated Adventures 